Going Dutch with Lisa Jardine

Every good schoolboy knows that the indominatable British mainland has only been conquered twice – first by the noble Julius Caesar; secondly by those perfidious French. Lisa Jardine wants us to call it three.

As Tom Tower rang it’s 101 chimes, Jardine explored the conclusions of her book, Going Dutch for a curious Oxford Festival audience – making the case for 1688’s Glorious Revolution as “the invasion we’ve chosen to forget”. The British like to imagine that William of Orange’s ousting of the Catholic James II represented the UK ‘hoovering up’ the Dutch royal family; for the Dutch, Jardine claims, the south coast landings were a bold military manouevre that very nearly united the crowns for good.

It’s no great surprise the revolution has been swept under the rug of history – the invasion launched by William (and wife Mary) was an oddity from the start. Marching furiously north with his impressive landing force, he suspended operations to enjoy a peaceful tour of Wilton House and it’s delightful gardens – thus leading the first army ever held up by topiary. And they say the English always stop for tea.

Of course, it was also a family affair – which might also go some way to explain why we Brits so limply handed over the crown to a foreign force. Outgoing monarch James II was Mary’s father; William and Mary themselves, married aged 9 and 14, were terrifyingly closely related (or ‘very first cousins‘, as Jardine generously puts it) and a good ten minutes lecture time is spent unravelling the horrendously entwined, quasi-legal love lives of the British, Dutch and French royal families – only to conclude, rather vaguely, that everyone was related to everyone else.

And of course it’s family affairs, not force of arms, that ultimately decided Britain’s future. From 1668, the Orange Dynasty’s control over British power and even British culture was so strong that had William and Mary not died without an heir, Jardine very seriously suggests, we’d all now be speaking Dutch…